


following ancient history

by bevmantle



Category: Gorgeous Freeman, Half-Life, freeman's mind
Genre: Alternate Universe, Exhibitionism, Fantasizing, Getting Together, Gordonverse, M/M, Masturbation, Multi, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Threesome, Trans Character, Trans porn by a trans author, Vaginal Fingering, Vibrators, Voyeurism, also canon-typical innuendo and general antagonism, its not slow burn bc its a oneshot but. there is kind of a long buildup, literally everyone in this fic is trans masc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:21:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29954706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bevmantle/pseuds/bevmantle
Summary: Gorgeous steps forward to lean against the doorframe, one hand on his cocked hip. “Son of abitch,”he says. “What do you want? I’m in the middle of something.”Freemind’s gaze drifts down, and he swallows, hard, before catching himself and remembering that he’s pissed off. He shakes his head, then glares at Gorgeous. “You’re supposed to share rounds with me tonight! What the fuck else do you have going on that’s so important?”Gorgeous smirks. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”
Relationships: Background Barney Calhoun/Gordon Freeman, Barney Calhoun/Freeman's Mind, Barney Calhoun/Gorgeous Freeman, Barney Calhoun/Gorgeous Freeman/Freeman's Mind, Gorgeous Freeman/Freeman's Mind
Comments: 9
Kudos: 48





	following ancient history

**Author's Note:**

> /throws this at u and runs
> 
> i dont wanna moderate comments so be nice and if u dont wanna see this then just click back. as always lemme know if i missed any tags!
> 
> [we're just following ancient history/if i strip for you, will you strip for me?](https://youtu.be/_Z7fV-wB2z8)

“Hey!” Freemind calls, rapping his knuckles on the door to Gorgeous’ room. “Open up, asshole! Did you fucking forget we have rounds tonight or what?”

No answer. Fucking Christ.

“Second time this week. Thinks he’s too fucking good to do rounds,” Freemind mutters to himself before raising his voice once more. “Open the goddamn door!” He’s about to knock again when the door swings open, revealing Gorgeous in all his six foot nine glory, wearing nothing but a pair of thin white briefs.

Gorgeous steps forward to lean against the doorframe, one hand on his cocked hip. “Son of a _bitch,”_ he says. “What do you want? I’m in the middle of something.”

Freemind’s gaze drifts down, and he swallows, hard, before catching himself and remembering that he’s pissed off. He shakes his head, then glares at Gorgeous. “You’re supposed to share rounds with me tonight! What the fuck else do you have going on that’s so important?”

Gorgeous smirks. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“What?” Freemind grits his teeth. “What’s that supposed to—”

“Gordon,” a man’s voice calls from deeper inside the room, “You comin’ back to bed or what?”

“Yeah,” Gorgeous answers, still wearing his stupid little smirk, not taking his eyes off Freemind. “And don’t worry. I won’t be the only one coming.”

Freemind chokes. “You—that’s—”

“Look, Freeman. You want a piece of this?” Gorgeous asks him, gesturing down at himself.

“No! I don’t!” Freemind’s temper flares as he forces himself not to look.

Gorgeous shrugs. “Then leave me the fuck alone. One of the other Gordons will cover for me.”

“That’s not the fucking point!” Freemind says, but Gorgeous has already given him the finger and shut the door. _“Asshole!”_ Freemind stands there for a moment, seething, before he flips the bird at Gorgeous’ closed door and spins on his heel, going to find one of the other Freemen.

“I didn’t even know he was gay,” Freemind gripes later, once he’s finally on rounds with Gordon, the loud Gordon. He’d never admit it, but he still finds the other, quiet Freeman a little intimidating—all the strong, silent stuff. This one is kind of annoying sometimes, but whatever. You win some, you lose some.

“I don’t think he is,” Gordon says. He’s careful to walk on Freemind’s good side, so Freemind doesn’t hurt his neck trying to look at him.

“Well he’s not _straight,”_ Freemind answers, “I definitely heard a guy in there.”

“No, yeah,” Gordon replies, thoughtful. “I mean more like—I think he’s like, undefined. _Other.”_ He mimes checking a box. “You know?”

Freemind rolls his eye. “Okay, whatever. You know what I meant.”

Gordon snorts. After a minute, he speaks again. “You know, I’ve been seeing him and Barney hanging around a lot recently.”

“Gorgeous and _Barney?_ Barney _Calhoun?”_ Freemind is incredulous. “Wait. Wait. Hang on. I thought Calhoun and Freeman had—had some kind of thing going.”

“They do!” Gordon says. “You know how it is, though.”

“No,” Freemind says. “I fucking _don’t!_ Next you’re gonna tell me _you_ have a thing with Barney too!”

“Well...” Gordon starts seriously, then cracks up at Freemind’s scandalized look. “Oh my God, your face! No, dude.”

“I hate you,” Freemind says, closing his eye and pinching the bridge of his nose. “I really do.”

“Sure, man,” Gordon says and claps Freemind on the shoulder, still laughing. “Anyway, but—but actually? Freeman was telling me that he thinks Barney just has a thing for—uh, for us? Gordons, I mean. And like, you know how Gorgeous is. Maybe one of them made a move.”

Freemind shakes his head, disbelieving. “Jesus. Okay.”

“Hey,” Gordon says, waggling his eyebrows. “You better keep an eye out, man, you could be next on Barney’s hit list.”

There’s a beat of silence.

 _“Watch_ it, Freeman,” Freemind says. “Or _you’re_ gonna be next on _my_ hit list.”

Gordon dissolves into peals of laughter once again. “Okay, but—get it?” he says between gasping breaths. “Keep—keep _an eye—”_

Freemind tries to glare at him, but can’t stop the corners of his mouth from twitching up. “Fuck off, that wasn’t even funny,” he says, turning abruptly around the corner to hide his expression.

It’s not until later that night, after rounds have been completed and he’s laying in bed alone, that Freemind’s thoughts turn to Gorgeous once more.

“What the fuck could Calhoun possibly see in _him?”_ he asks the empty room. “Like, okay, Freeman you can make a case for, the guy’s handsome and he has charisma. But _Gorgeous?_ He’s a fucking asshole!” Freemind rolls over onto his back, throwing one arm above his head and resting his other hand on his chest. “No, it _has_ to be a sex thing. Like, he’s probably got a fucking huge dick, or something.”

Freemind says it without thinking—he says a lot of things, not all of which he necessarily believe—but as soon as it leaves his mouth he wonders if it might actually be true. Gorgeous is...well, he’s called _Gorgeous_ for a reason. He’s big and strong and _hot._ He has a perfect face—all the Gordons do, let’s be honest—but Gorgeous has the musculature, height, and perfect ass to match. It would only make sense for him to have a big dick, too.

Freemind sighs and tugs a pillow over his face.

“No, it’s fine,” he says into the pillow, voice muffled. “These are totally normal thoughts to be having about my alternate self, who I _hate,_ actually. I’m not insane. God, shut _up,_ Gordon!”

Freemind throws the pillow aside, feeling keyed up for no real reason. He sighs, reaching down to run a hand along the waistband of his pants. He can tell he’s already a little wet. _One_ fucking fantasy about big guys and their big dicks, that’s _it,_ and then he’s going to shut that shit down so fast it’ll be like it never happened at all.

Yeah, right.

He reaches for the vibrator he’d built for himself soon after his arrival at White Forest—look, a guy needs _some_ kind of stress relief, okay? He’d compared designs with Alyx, and this one ended up being the optimized result—and flicks it on, pressing it against his clothed dick. He teases himself like that for a minute, leaving a damp spot in his pants. Eventually Freemind heaves a sigh and tugs them off, tossing them aside.

He wonders if Gorgeous and Barney are still fucking, and tries to imagine what it would feel like to have Gorgeous’ dick inside him. Maybe Gorgeous would rub a hand down Freemind’s side as if he were soothing an animal, easing him through the aftershocks of his orgasm. Or maybe he’d be rough—fucking him through it, making him oversensitive and holding him somewhere between pleasure and pain.

Freemind shivers and then draws a sharp inhale as he cums, caught off guard by his own climax. He tilts his hips upward to press the vibrator harder against himself, his legs shaking with effort, until finally it becomes too much and he has to stop. Panting, Freemind lets his hips drop back down onto the bed. He feels good, but at the same time...he feels empty. Lonely. Like—like a total fucking _loser,_ actually. Like he’s single on prom night all over again.

Freemind thinks back to what Gordon had said about Barney’s predilections. Would it really be so bad to indulge him? Barney isn’t unattractive, is the thing; Freemind, working under the assumption that Barney was already spoken for, had just never really spared him a second thought. But Calhoun _is_ handsome, in a scruffy sort of way; plus he’s skilled enough, and clearly respected. He has a deep voice, and—Freemind knows—strong, deft hands.

Freemind lets out a long breath and turns his vibrator on again. It’s not like he has anywhere to be in the morning. By the time he exhausts himself and finally falls asleep, the sun is beginning to rise.

The next day, Gorgeous corners Freemind in the nearly-empty cafeteria.

“Kinda late for breakfast,” he says, sitting down next to Freemind. “Have a good night?”

Freemind rolls his eye. “Yeah, rounds were so exciting, lots of action, almost died. Gordon wants you to know you owe him one for covering.” Gorgeous isn’t paying attention, too busy taking a swig of Freemind’s coffee. Freemind grits his teeth and continues. “Anyway, you missed out. It was definitely better than whatever sad loser sex you and Calhoun were having.”

Gorgeous laughs, deep and melodic. “Suck my dick, Freeman. Bet you spent the whole night thinking about us and playin’ with yourself.”

Freemind shuts up instantly, face turning bright red.

Gorgeous’ eyes narrow, and he reaches up with one hand as if to touch his knuckle to Freemind’s cheek. Freemind closes his eye and exhales, his breath shaky. Gorgeous snorts and reaches around to tug on Freemind’s ponytail instead. “Damn, you actually did! I oughta kick your ass.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Freemind says and slaps Gorgeous’ hand away. He stands up, grabbing his dish. “I mean it, jackass, get out of my face. Some of us have actual work to do around here."

Gorgeous grabs Freemind’s wrist. “Wait.”

“What?” Freemind snaps.

Gorgeous yanks Freemind down, hard, so that Freemind falls into his lap with a little _oof!_ Freemind is suddenly extremely aware of the fact that they’re in _public,_ in the goddamn _cafeteria_ of all places, and—and— _fuck,_ this is kind of hot.

Oh, he’s going to _kill_ Gorgeous.

“Let me go,” he hisses, struggling against Gorgeous’ grip.

“Don’t get your panties in a bunch,” Gorgeous says, breath hot against Freemind’s ear. “Look, Freeman, there’s enough of me to go around. If you want some, all you have to do is ask.”

“You’re out of your fucking mind if you think I’m asking you for _shit,”_ Freemind says.

Gorgeous releases him, and Freemind stumbles to his feet, brushing himself off. He quickly scans the room, but no one seems to be paying them any attention.

Gorgeous stands up and leans in, snagging a half-eaten roll off Freemind’s plate. “Whenever you wanna stop pissing around, you know where to find me,” he says. He sits down again, leaning back and crossing one ankle over his knee.

Freemind doesn’t acknowledge him. He turns and scrapes his garbage into the trash can before heading for the door, feeling Gorgeous’ eyes on his back the whole time.

A few days later finds Freemind and Barney sharing a couch in one of the common areas. It’s their first time just _hanging out_ in...well, a while. Some weird show is playing on one of the screens. Since the dissolution of TV networks under the Combine, lots of folks had taken up the mantle of creating their own broadcast media—resulting in a lot of amateur underground programming that’s more or less equivalent to what Freemind remembers of late-night public access stuff. The show they’re watching plays for a little bit. It’s hard to follow, with no discernible plot and more than a few janky handmade puppets, but every so often Barney lets out a little snort at the characters’ antics.

Freemind will be the first to admit that he doesn’t typically seek out Barney’s company in his downtime, generally preferring either to find Alyx and get some work done, or else just to take a few precious hours to himself. Barney is easy to spend time with, though, and Freemind has to admit, this is kind of nice—there’s a certain luxury to just kicking back and taking in something that other people have made for no other purpose than entertainment.

Besides, ever since his conversation with Gordon the other night, Freemind has found himself preoccupied for two different—though not unrelated—reasons. One of those reasons is Gorgeous, and Freemind refuses to touch that with a ten-foot pole. The other, more approachable one is Barney.

When there’s a lull in the programming, Freemind clears his throat. “So,” he says, testing the waters. “You and Gorgeous, huh?”

A long moment passes, and then Barney looks at him askance. “None’a your business, Freeman. What’s it to you, anyway?”

Freemind shrugs. “Just curious.” Barney doesn’t answer, so he pushes it a little farther: “I can’t imagine he’d be all that good in the sack if his personality is anything to go by.”

Barney’s jaw tightens. He jabs the button to shut the monitor off and turns to look at Freemind fully. “Look, you got some kind of problem with me, or what?”

“No!” Freemind snaps reflexively, glaring back at Barney. After a charged moment, he looks away, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry,” Freemind mutters.

Barney exhales, visibly relaxing. “It’s fine,” he says, tone clipped in a way that means it’s not fine, actually, but he’s polite enough to move on.

“Look, I don’t have a problem with _you,”_ Freemind insists. “It’s Gorgeous.”

Barney looks skeptical. “I mean, yeah, I’ve noticed you two are a bit at odds, but…”

“A bit?” Freemind rolls his eye. “He just fucks around all the time and he _knows_ he can get away with it because he’s pretty! And—”

“Oh, so you _do_ think he’s pretty?” Barney cuts in, teasing.

“Fuck off. Anyway _I’m_ the one who always ends up having to pick up his slack, because people don’t like me. For whatever reason. Which, okay, I don’t care—” Barney snorts—“but he needs to start pulling his own weight around here! Just like everyone else.”

Barney side-eyes Freemind for a moment, then claps a hand to Freemind’s thigh. “Y’know...you’ve changed a lot from when we first met. It’s good, though. You really care about this place.”

“Huh?” Freemind looks down at Barney’s hand, then looks away with a frown. “No, I’m just—if I’m gonna be stuck here I might as well do my part, and if _I’m_ doing it, then everyone else had better do theirs, too.”

“Uh huh, sure,” Barney says cheerfully, giving Freemind’s thigh a squeeze.

Freemind twitches. Barney ignores it, and gives Freemind’s leg a couple pats before drawing his hand back. Freemind’s heart is pounding, and his brain suddenly floods with images of all the fantasies he’s been indulging in for the past couple of nights.

“Anyway,” Barney continues. “Gorgeous has been helping out a lot, actually. Been hearing from the guys in supply that he’s been pulling double shifts there, helping load and unload the caravans.”

Freemind blinks, and just like that, his anger drains away. “What? When?”

“Early,” Barney says. “Sunrise, usually. I think he sleeps a bit during the day, which is probably why he keeps forgetting rounds at night.”

“Huh. Well, that, _and_ the fact that you two are fucking,” Freemind gestures. “Right?”

Barney clears his throat. “Look—it was my fault, the other night, okay? I wanted him to stay, and—well, I should’ve told him to go.”

“No, it’s fine,” Freemind says. “Don’t worry about it. I didn’t know he was pulling morning shifts, he should’ve fucking _said_ something.” He shakes his head. “Jackass.”

“He’s not a complete piece of shit,” Barney says with a wry smile. “Once you get past the personality he projects, Gorgeous is a good guy, you know?” He taps Freemind’s thigh again. “I can name some other people who’re the same way.”

Freemind wrinkles his nose, but doesn’t say anything. Eventually, after a long moment, he speaks. “Your good-guy boy toy propositioned me a couple days ago.”

Barney blinks at the confession, then laughs, placing a hand on Freemind’s shoulder. “And?”

“And what?”

There’s a twinkle in Barney’s eye. “Did you accept?”

Freemind flushes, looking away abruptly. “You wish, Calhoun.”

“Hm.” Barney slides his hand down, resting it at the small of Freemind’s back. The atmosphere palpably changes, some emotion that Freemind can’t immediately identify coloring Barney’s face. “So what if I do?”

“That wasn’t—wait, are _you_ hitting on me now, too? Two Gordons aren’t enough for you?” Freemind says, and immediately regrets how bitter it sounds. He can feel the heat of Barney’s hand through his thin shirt like a brand. “I didn’t mean that.”

Barney, ever gracious, elects to ignore it and rolls his eyes. “I _guess_ I’m just wondering if you might reconsider,” he says, “if I’m the one asking.”

Freemind swallows. “I—Maybe.” Barney’s fingers trail over his back, and he closes his eye. “Barney—”

“Gordon,” Barney says evenly.

Freemind opens his eye, taking a deep breath. “Look, I don’t want to be another fucking—notch in the bedpost or some shit, okay?”

“That’s not what this is,” Barney says.

“Then what is it?”

“It’s—” Barney grips the back of Freemind’s shirt for a moment, then releases it. “I just care about you, _all_ of you. I mean obviously you’re not all the same. But I feel—well, I dunno. All of you are—are _important_ to me. And you, I’ve known you for a while now, Gordon, and I really—I really like the person you’ve become. Sorry if that’s weird, and I’m not offended if you want to say no, just...the offer’s out there.”

Freemind has to swallow again around the sudden lump in his throat that forms at Barney’s praise, and he ducks his head so Barney won’t see. “You already have the strong silent Gordon,” he says, “and the Gordon with the big dick, so it kinda seems you’re set.”

To Barney’s credit, he attempts to stifle his laugh. “I’m sorry. I have the _who_ now?”

“And Gordon is the funny one, so I don’t even know what the fuck that makes me. Most wrongfully hated Gordon, maybe.”

“No, hang on,” Barney says. “Rewind. The fuck are you talking about, ‘Gordon with the big dick?’”

Freemind fixes Barney with a pointed look. “Am I losing it? Are you or are you not currently fucking Gorgeous?”

Barney blinks. “I’m—I’m _involved_ with Gorgeous, yeah. But…” He trails off, shaking his head with a rueful grin. “You know, I think I’m just gonna wait and let him tell you himself.”

“Excuse me?”

“Don’t worry about it. Anyway, I meant what I said. You should come by one of these nights, if you want. It’d be fun.”

Freemind pictures Barney and Gorgeous together. He remembers the way Gorgeous had manhandled him so easily and has to suppress the shiver that suddenly rolls through him. “Yeah, okay,” he says eventually. “I still think he’s annoying, but...I’ll think about it.”

A slow, genuine smile spreads across Barney’s face. “Okay,” he says, standing up from the couch and stretching. “I’ll catch up with you later, huh Gordon? Got a shift starting soon.”

Freemind shrugs one shoulder, says “Whatever,” and gives Barney a little half-wave, flipping the TV back on to another strange show as Barney hurries off.

It’s a quarter after ten when Freemind makes his way over to Barney’s room. “To talk. _Just_ to talk, get your mind out of the gutter, Gordon, Jesus,” he reminds himself. He’s about to knock when Gorgeous opens the door.

“You again,” Freemind says, not bothering to keep the exasperation out of his voice.

“What’s up, shortstack?” Gorgeous says, flexing against the doorframe. He’s shirtless again, wearing a pair of sweats that sit low on his hips. He notices Freemind staring at his bicep, and smirks. “You wanna touch it?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Freemind says automatically. “I’m here for your better half. He around?”

Gorgeous shifts. “Nah, he’s out doin’ something with Freeman. You need him? ‘Cause I don’t think they want to be disturbed, if you know what I mean.” He makes a circle with his left index finger and thumb, passing his right index finger through it repeatedly.

“Thanks for telling me that in the most disgusting way possible,” Freemind says. “Anyway, no. It’s fine. Why’re you hanging out in his room if he’s out?”

“Keepin’ the bed warm,” Gorgeous says, stepping out into the hall and close to Freemind. “Wanna help?”

Freemind puts his hand against Gorgeous’ chest, and Gorgeous lets himself be pushed back a step. “Can we talk, actually?”

Gorgeous studies him, then shrugs. “Yeah, sure. Why not.” He turns and walks back inside Barney’s room, Freemind on his heels.

Freemind has been in Barney’s room a couple times before, and despite it being just as small and nondescript as everyone else’s, it somehow manages to encapsulate the core essence of _Barney._ There’s a stack of neatly folded shirts on top of the dresser and a straight razor air drying in the bathroom; in the corner near the bed, a spare crowbar is leaned up against the wall for easy access, as much for Barney’s comfort as it is for any of the Gordons’.

Freemind feels an odd pang in his heart as he looks at it, and he thinks suddenly that maybe he _does_ understand the depth and truth of Barney’s feelings, jumbled as they are between _familial_ and _platonic_ and _comradely_ and _romantic_ and then surpassing those labels entirely. Because, like, Freemind _gets_ it—he has the same overwhelming need to make sure everyone is _alive_ and _safe_ and _there._ He knows the other Gordons feel it, too, regardless of how much they like to wind each other up. It’s in the way Freeman grabs his arm and drags him out of danger; the way Gordon tells him stupid jokes during rounds to keep him awake. And, Freemind realizes, the way that Gorgeous has been taking on extra grunt work, without being asked, just to make things a little easier for everyone else. He sits down on the bed, kicking his feet a little against the wooden frame.

“So. I know you’ve been taking extra shifts,” he says.

Gorgeous snaps his fingers. “Damn! Who told you? Barney?”

“Yeah,” Freemind says. “He wanted me to know why you kept missing rounds. Don’t ask me why, but he seems to think you’re a good person, or something.”

“Ha.” Gorgeous sits down on Freemind’s good side, so close that they’re touching. It’s...strangely comfortable. Freemind can feel Gorgeous’ body heat through the fabric of his shirt. He kicks his feet again.

“How come you didn’t say anything?” Freemind asks after a few seconds. “You just stood there and let me tear into you.”

“Been chewed out worse before,” Gorgeous says. “And you’re hot when you get angry.”

Freemind rolls his eye. “Well, you’re gonna love me in a minute when I’m furious. C’mon, asshole. What’s the real reason?”

Gorgeous doesn’t say anything for a long moment. He pulls out a pack of herbal cigarettes, taps one out. “Mind if I smoke?”

Freemind blinks. “Go ahead.”

Gorgeous lights up and inhales, holding the smoke in for a few seconds before turning his head to blow it out. He takes another hit before offering it to Freemind, who accepts with a nod.

Freemind takes a drag, surprised at how smooth it goes down. “It’s sweet,” he says.

“Yeah,” Gorgeous agrees, taking the cigarette back. He pauses, then speaks again. “Look, about the extra shifts—I don’t want to make a big deal out of it, you know?”

“Okay. Sure,” Freemind says, waiting for him to elaborate.

Gorgeous picks at a loose thread in the blanket. “You ever think about how lucky we are, to have ended up here? I mean, material conditions are still shit, but—people _care_ about each other. Care about _us._ Like what the fuck is that?”

Freemind hesitates, then places his hand softly atop Gorgeous’. “Yeah, I...didn’t have a lot of friends. Back home, I mean.”

Gorgeous nods. “Me either. It was like everyone was against each other, every man for himself. But being here, seein’ the way people take care of each other…” He shrugs, leaning away to stub his cigarette out in the ashtray on the side table. For a fleeting moment, Freemind misses the warmth of Gorgeous’ hand, but when Gorgeous leans back in a second later, he takes Freemind’s hand again, lacing their fingers together. “I know it’s good for morale, havin’ the Freemen out on patrol rounds, showing face, but...I just wanna help out where I know I’m actually useful.”

“You’re such an idiot,” Freemind says, but there’s no bite behind his words. “Why didn’t you just say something? I would have told Freeman to take you out of the rotation.”

Gorgeous snorts. “Would _you_ have said anything? I don’t think so. Woulda just sucked it up ‘n complained about it later.”

Freemind bumps Gorgeous’ shoulder with his own, laughing. “Fuck you. I mean you’re probably right, but fuck you.”

“Fuck _you,”_ Gorgeous laughs, too. “Hey, Gordon. I’m sorry I’m always, like, pickin’ on you and shit. I know I mess around a lot, but...I’m really glad to have you as a comrade.”

“I kind of didn’t like you at first,” Freemind admits. “But if I’m being honest, most of it was jealousy. And I don’t mind you picking on me, it’s—” The tips of his ears go red. “Well, anyway. I’m glad you’re here, too.”

Gorgeous gazes down at him. “Jealous? Of what?”

Freemind pulls his hand away and rubs the back of his neck. “Man, come on. Everyone loves you.”

“I’m God’s gift to people everywhere,” Gorgeous says solemnly. Then he grins. “But I guess you’re not bad, either.”

Freemind barks out a laugh. “Thanks, asshole. God, you’re so full of yourself.”

Gorgeous’ grin grows wider, and he reaches out to drag the back of his hand down the length of Freemind’s arm. “I wouldn’t be opposed to being filled by my self. You offering?”

Freemind flushes. “Am I—hang on. You want to bottom?”

“Uh, yeah. I left my strap in my room and I’m not fucking you with Barney’s.”

“You left your—” Freemind’s brain catches up, and then he starts laughing. “Holy shit. I’m a fucking idiot.”

“Yeah,” Gorgeous agrees. “Why, though?”

“Shut up, shut up!” Freemind waves him off as another peal of laughter wracks his body. “I’ve been thinking about you having a giant dick all week!”

Gorgeous looks stunned for a moment, then he’s laughing, too. “Damn, you _are_ an idiot. That’s cute as hell, though. You were thinkin’ of me.”

Freemind groans. “Whatever! Don’t let it get to your head.”

“Aw, it’s okay. You don’t have to be ashamed of wantin’ me to pound you into the mattress.”

“Oh my God, you are _so annoying,”_ Freemind says. He leans in and presses his face into Gorgeous’ chest, taking a deep breath. Gorgeous smells clean, like some expensive cologne. Ugh. Of _course_ he does.

Gorgeous pulls Freemind into his lap and wraps his arms around him, holding him in place. He rests his cheek against Freemind’s head. “My meat is actually huge, though.”

“And I’m the Queen of fucking England,” Freemind says with a snort, patting Gorgeous’ back with one hand. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“Gonna make you eat those words,” Gorgeous says. He stands up, Freemind in his arms, and turns, dropping Freemind down into the middle of the bed.

“Kiss my ass.” Freemind scoots back to rest against the headboard, watching as Gorgeous hooks his fingers into the waistband of his sweats. “It’s so fucking hot and _so_ fucking infuriating that you can just pick me up like that, by the way.”

Gorgeous smiles serenely. “Noted, and I will definitely make sure to do it again.” He pushes his sweats down and steps out of them with a flourish. “Now...say hello to my little friend.”

“Shut the fuck up. I hate you so much,” Freemind says, staring openly at Gorgeous’ dick, which is in fact larger than average. “Do you pump or something?”

“Perv. A lady never tells,” Gorgeous says with a wink as he cocks his hip, showing off. “Now I showed you mine, so show me yours.”

Freemind hesitates. “It’s not—it’s small.”

“I don’t give a fuck,” Gorgeous says, “I just wanna see some _dick,_ Gordon.”

Freemind scrubs a hand over his face. _“Stop_ saying things to me.” But he unzips his pants, lifting his hips so he can slide them off. Gorgeous sits down on the edge of the bed, watching him intently. “What?” Freemind says, tugging his shirt off over his head and tossing it on the floor.

“Sexy,” Gorgeous says. He runs a hand down Freemind’s leg, resting it on his calf.

Freemind looks away, his face warm. “I mean, I know, but maybe you should tell me again.”

Gorgeous nudges Freemind’s legs apart. “Damn, I dunno why you’re all fucked up about size shit. You got a nice dick.”

Freemind looks at him. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Gorgeous says. He pulls a hair tie off his wrist and holds it in his mouth as he gathers his hair into a messy bun. “Gonna let me suck it or what?”

Freemind sucks in a breath. “Christ. Yeah, okay.”

“Okay,” Gorgeous says. He slides off the bed, kneeling at the foot. He pats the mattress, and Freemind moves towards him, settling on the edge of the bed. Even kneeling, Gorgeous is still tall. He leans in, placing his hands on either side of Freemind’s hips, crowding him so that they’re nearly touching. Gorgeous pauses, looking at Freemind.

“Hey,” Freemind says, shifting in place. “Don’t tell me this is the part where you say it was all a joke and call me an idiot.”

“No. This is the part where you kiss me with tongue. Idiot.”

Freemind barks out a relieved laugh. “Bite me,” he says, but he reaches out and drapes his arms over Gorgeous’ shoulders.

“If you ask nicely,” Gorgeous says, and kisses him.

His lips are soft, and he tastes like mouthwash, which Freemind appreciates. Freemind sighs through his nose and slides his tongue into Gorgeous’ mouth. When Gorgeous eventually pulls back, Freemind follows, licking across Gorgeous’ lips and over his chin in broad swipes.

Gorgeous hums as Freemind sucks a mark into his neck. Once it seems like Freemind is satisfied, Gorgeous runs his fingers through Freemind’s hair, tugging him up into another deep kiss. One kiss turns into two turns into three and then keeps going, becoming a languid press of lips and tongues. 

They finally stop to catch their breath. Freemind reaches down towards Gorgeous’ crotch, impatient, but Gorgeous swats his hand away.

“I _said_ I was gonna suck your dick,” Gorgeous says, sounding amused. “Behave.”

Freemind groans. “Come on, I wanna touch you.”

“I know.” Gorgeous ducks down, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to his inner thigh. When Freemind sighs, Gorgeous kisses his leg again, this time biting down gently.

“Ah—fuck,” Freemind says. “Gorgeous—”

“Yeah, bet you like it a little rough, huh?” Gorgeous purrs, and Freemind can _hear_ his smirk.

“Fucking—just shut up and get me off or I’m gonna go get my vibrator from my room and do it myself.”

Gorgeous stops and pulls back to look at him. “You have a vibrator? Here?”

“Yeah? I made it pretty soon after getting here,” Freemind says. “I was bored.”

“You _made_ it,” Gorgeous repeats, shaking his head. “Damn. I shoulda thought of that.”

“You didn’t think about making a vibrator, but somehow you and Barney both have strap-ons?” Freemind says, sounding skeptical. “Okay. Riddle me that one.”

“Yeah, mine is my _packer,_ asshole,” Gorgeous says, leaning back in and kissing Freemind’s other thigh. “I didn’t ask where Barney’s came from. I was kinda busy getting fucked with it.” He turns his head and finally tongues at Freemind’s dick.

Freemind exhales. _“Fuck._ Well, I’ll give you the specs later if you want ‘em. Remind me.”

Gorgeous gives him a heated look. “I will.” He takes Freemind completely into his mouth, easily, and Freemind shudders, placing his hand on top of Gorgeous’ head.

“Hey—” Freemind starts, and then Gorgeous does something with his tongue that makes him gasp and clench his hand in Gorgeous’ hair. “Too much! Too much, _fuck,_ I’m gonna cum in like three seconds if you do that.”

“So what?” Gorgeous sits back on his heels, wiping his mouth. “Blow your load if it feels good. Who cares?”

Freemind grits his teeth, fisting his hands in the blanket. “Because! I can last, okay? I’m not, like—just go slower, jackass.”

“Why’s everything gotta be a dick-measuring contest with you?” Gorgeous says. “I don’t give a shit if you cum fast. I want you to enjoy it.”

Freemind stares at him, face reddening. He doesn’t answer.

Gorgeous blinks, touching Freemind’s knee. “You want me to stop?”

Freemind closes his eye and shakes his head, hard. “Kiss me,” he croaks out.

Gorgeous shifts forward onto his knees and leans in, obliging. Freemind can taste himself vaguely on Gorgeous’ tongue.

Pulling back, Gorgeous reaches between them and runs his fingers through the sparse hair on Freemind’s stomach. “Can I keep going?” he asks.

Freemind nods.

Gorgeous sinks back down and kisses the tip of Freemind’s dick, laughing softly when Freemind twitches. He runs two fingers over Freemind’s entrance, making him squirm and spread his legs wider. “Okay?”

“Yeah,” Freemind says immediately. “Yeah, do it—”

Gorgeous presses his index finger inside him, ducking his head so he can flatten his tongue against Freemind’s dick at the same time. He’s only just barely found a rhythm when Freemind gasps out “Oh _fuck!”_ and cums suddenly, clenching around Gorgeous’ fingers.

Gorgeous fucks him through it until Freemind reaches down and squeezes his wrist. He pulls his fingers out gently, and Freemind takes a moment to catch his breath before tugging Gorgeous’ hand up towards his face and cleaning it with his tongue.

When he’s done, Freemind flops back, still breathing hard. “Holy shit.”

“Yeah. That was hot as fuck,” Gorgeous agrees. He stands and stretches his arms over his head.

Freemind makes grabby hands in Gorgeous’ direction. “Lemme touch,” he whines.

“Yeah,” Gorgeous says again. “How do you wanna do this?”

Freemind sits up with a grunt of effort. “Anything except missionary. I don’t really do...the eye contact thing.”

“Sure.” Gorgeous nods at Freemind’s eyepatch. “How’d you lose the eye?”

“I didn’t,” Freemind says, shrugging almost carelessly.

“But...?” Gorgeous says.

“Can’t see much out of it and I get migraines from the light. So.” There’s an awkward pause, and then Freemind heaves a sigh, staring at the wall. “It was a stupid mistake, okay? I had my face too close to the rifle scope while I was trying to waste some military dickwad. He was up above me and I forgot to readjust for the angle. Pulled the trigger, boom, scope hit me in the eye. Scratched it up pretty bad I guess, ‘cause I lost most of my vision. I got pretty lucky with the angle, it could have been a lot worse. Either way it hurt like a bitch and I felt like a fucking idiot.”

Gorgeous’ face is impassive, but after a second he nods, and Freemind is glad that he doesn’t try to offer him any shallow platitudes.

“The other guy?” Gorgeous asks.

Freemind’s lips curve up into a grin. “Blew his head off.”

Gorgeous tips his head back and laughs. “God _damn!_ You’re really somethin’, you know that?”

Freemind laughs, too, feeling the awkward tension dissipate. “Yeah, yeah, whatever.” He stands up, stepping forward to run a hand over Gorgeous’ impressive pecs. “You wanna get on your hands and knees for me?”

“Fuck yeah I do,” Gorgeous says, leaning in for a kiss. He clambers onto the bed and gets comfortable before looking back at Freemind.

“Okay, at risk of inflating your already insufferable ego,” Freemind says, “You literally have a perfect ass. What the fuck.”

“I do squats,” Gorgeous says. “Now come fuck me already, gayboy. Starin’ at my ass and shit.” He winks.

Freemind steps closer and pats Gorgeous’ ass lightly. “Watch it.” He climbs up on the bed behind Gorgeous and bends to kiss the small of his back. Gorgeous arches into his touch.

“Start with two fingers. I can take it,” Gorgeous says.

“Oh yeah?” Freemind kneads his ass, spreading him gently. 

“Yeah,” Gorgeous grunts, rolling his hips to try and meet Freemind’s touch, “I’ve _been_ ready. I’m fucking soaked. Come on.”

Freemind clicks his tongue. “I can’t believe how much of a brat you are already. I think you might be a more annoying bottom than _me,_ and that’s saying something.”

“Fuck you. I can top whenever I want,” Gorgeous says, voice muffled by his face being pressed into his arms.

“Uh huh. And do you want to?” Freemind asks, sliding his hand forward to tug at Gorgeous’ dick before pressing two slick fingers inside him.

Gorgeous groans with pleasure, lifting his head and pushing his hips back as far as Freemind will let him. “Nope. _Fuck,_ that feels good.”

Freemind pulls out, then presses his fingers back in and laughs, shifting to rest his forehead against Gorgeous’ back for a second before kissing his shoulder blade. “Dumbass. You are _so_ lucky I’m vers.”

Gorgeous groans again, ignoring him. “Harder.”

Freemind speeds up his thrusts and fucks him harder, enjoying the little sounds Gorgeous makes each time he pushes in. “God, I want to wreck you,” Freemind says.

“You couldn’t,” Gorgeous says, “but I’d love to see you try.”

“Shut the fuck—” Freemind starts, but is interrupted by the sound of the door being unlocked and opened. He turns, making eye contact with Barney, who lifts a hand in greeting.

“Hey. Some night, huh?” Barney comments, grinning at the tableau before him.

“Hey, babe,” Gorgeous says without looking. “Wanna dance?”

There’s a beat of silence, then: “The fuck kind of line is _that?”_ says Freemind, his tone scathing, and Gorgeous and Barney both laugh. Freemind waves at Barney with his free hand. “I came over to talk. I swear.”

“Sure. Looks like a productive conversation,” Barney says, still chuckling as he kicks off his shoes and pulls his sweater over his head. He’s sporting quite a few hickeys on his neck, and probably more elsewhere, if the marks disappearing under his shirt collar are anything to go by. “Don’t stop on my account.”

Gorgeous blows Barney a kiss over his shoulder, making an exaggerated _mwah_ sound as Freemind starts fucking him again. “Wanna get in on this?”

“Nah,” Barney says, grabbing the desk chair and dragging it over to Freemind’s good side before sitting down, and spreading his legs. “I honestly don’t know if I have it in me right now. Mind if I watch, though?”

Freemind is hot—sweating from both the exertion and the excitement of Barney getting off to them fucking—but tries to play it cool. “I mean, fuck, it’s your room. We’re literally in your bed, I kinda feel like your involvement is implied.” Gorgeous gives the thumbs up.

Barney grins, unbuttoning his pants and shoving his hand inside.

Freemind slows his thrusts to watch Barney for a moment, just appreciating the outline of his hand moving inside his pants. Barney fixes him with a gaze that can only be described as _smoldering,_ and Freemind has to look away. He focuses on Gorgeous instead, reaching forward to wrap his fingers around Gorgeous’ dick and give it a couple of firm strokes.

Gorgeous sighs, his head pillowed on his forearms as Freemind works him over. “I could do this all day. Fuuuck, that feels good.”

Freemind rolls his eye. “Much as I’d like that, I don’t think my wrists would appreciate a full day of this.”

“Yeah, so? Bring something else next time,” Gorgeous says.

“Oh, I’m _so_ sorry I didn’t come prepared,” Freemind says, acerbic. “You’re right, I _should_ bring a sex toy with me the next time I plan on having a casual conversation with a friend. Can’t believe I forgot.” He slides his fingers back into Gorgeous, thrusting them a few times before adding a third finger and slowly pressing back in.

“Yeah, that’s it,” Gorgeous says, pushing his hips back, “Give it to me, c’mon.”

“Is he always like this?” Freemind says offhandedly to Barney.

Barney huffs out a laugh as he rubs himself. “Better get used to it. Mm—fuck, I’m like—so sensitive still.”

“Had a good time?” Gorgeous asks.

Barney’s voice is fond. “With Gordon? I always do.”

Gorgeous barely registers his answer, distracted by Freemind scissoring his fingers. “Ungh.. Fuck! Holy shit.”

“You’re fucking _tight,”_ Freemind grunts. “You want another one?”

“Fuuuck yeah,” Gorgeous says, gripping the sheets with both hands and pushing back.

Freemind takes his left hand and reaches around to pump Gorgeous’ dick while he slips a fourth finger into him, stretching him impossibly further. Then he stops, holding his hand in place. “You good?”

Gorgeous grunts an affirmative. “I told you. I can take it.”

“He can take it,” Barney confirms, sucking in a breath as he watches Freemind’s hand slide out the tiniest bit before pushing back in.

“Yeah, well, _can_ and _should_ are two different things, asshole,” Freemind says, and flexes his fingers.

Gorgeous moans loudly before he answers. “You hear me complaining? It feels good. Shithead.”

Barney bites his lip, and from the corner of his eye Freemind can see his hand start moving faster. “Whatever whole thing you two’ve got going on, with the insults? I don’t get it,” Barney says, breathless. “Hot, though. Fuck, I’m already—”

Freemind hears Barney gasp and then let out a low groan of pleasure.

“He just cum?” Gorgeous asks.

“Yep,” Freemind confirms.

“Hah. Nice. Oh fuck—yeah, right there—yeah, do that again.”

Freemind does it again.

“Ah, _fuck,”_ Gorgeous says, reaching under himself with one hand to rub at his own dick. “Fuck, just like that.”

“You wanna cum?” Freemind says, thrusting in and spreading his fingers inside Gorgeous as much as he can.

“Yeah. Yeah,” Gorgeous pants. “Feels good, I wanna cum, c’mon—”

“Yeah? Do it then,” Freemind says. He runs his left hand over Gorgeous’ ass, squeezing gently.

“Mm—” Gorgeous strokes himself harder, grinding his dick against the heel of his palm. “So fuckin’ close—”

Freemind crooks his fingers, and a second later, Gorgeous is cumming around them with a guttural cry. Gorgeous’ own hand presses down on his dick as Freemind continues to thrust into him shallowly, working him through it.

After a few seconds, the tension leaves Gorgeous’ body and he relaxes. Freemind gives one more good thrust, then places a hand on Gorgeous’ lower back and pulls out, slowly. He sits back on his heels and watches Gorgeous drop down onto his stomach, then roll onto his back with a contented sigh. Everyone in the room takes a moment to catch their breath. Freemind runs a hand over Gorgeous’ stomach without looking at him.

“Alright,” Barney says, breaking the silence. “Lemme go grab some water from the bathroom.” He gets to his feet with a grunt of effort and stretches his arms over his head. Then he scoots around the bed, squeezing Freemind’s shoulder as he goes, and disappears into the small attached bathroom. Freemind hears the faucet squeak, and then the sound of running water. Gorgeous moves over and pats the spot next to him in bed.

Freemind hesitates, then lays down, curling away from Gorgeous. He sits up a little to pull off his eyepatch, tossing it on the bedside table, and shakes his hair out before getting comfortable. Once he’s done fidgeting, Gorgeous slings an arm around Freemind’s waist and presses a kiss to the back of his neck. Freemind can’t help feeling like they still have a lot to talk about—Christ, he hasn’t even gotten to talk to Barney at all—but fuck it. It could wait ‘til later. He brings his hand up and squeezes Gorgeous’ forearm.

Barney reappears with two chipped mugs full of water. “Sorry,” he says with a wry smile, “I don’t have much in the way of fine china.” He passes one to Gorgeous, who sits up to take it, and hands the other to Freemind, who props himself up on one arm and drinks. Gorgeous drinks about half of his and then passes it back to Barney, who finishes it off. Barney places the empty mug down carefully on the nightstand, then gestures for Freemind’s as well. Finally, Barney puts his hands on his hips, surveying the other two.

“Alright, scoot over,” he says. “Fucking without me is one thing, but if you’re gonna be out-and-out sleeping in my bed, I want in.”

Gorgeous moves as close to the edge as he can comfortably get, pulling Freemind back against his chest. Barney flicks the lamp off and slides in, pressing his face into Freemind’s neck and taking a deep breath. “Night,” Barney says, and yawns. Freemind pats his hip in response, and Gorgeous blows them both a kiss.

Barney starts snoring almost immediately, and the effect is contagious. Freemind can feel himself about to doze off when Gorgeous squeezes him.

“Hey,” Gorgeous whispers. “Aren’t you on the schedule for late rounds tonight?”

Freemind nearly jolts from the sudden rush of adrenaline. “Shit,” he hisses. “I think you’re right.” Gorgeous pulls his arm away, and Freemind starts to extricate himself from Barney’s grip—only to have Barney press himself even closer.

“Go th’ fuck to sleep,” Barney mumbles, nuzzling into Freemind’s shoulder.

Freemind lays there, body tensed, but then a moment passes, and he relaxes with a little sigh. He reaches behind him for Gorgeous’s arm and tugs it over his waist again. “Whatever,” he whispers to Gorgeous. “It’s fine. One of the other Gordons will just have to cover for me.”

He can feel Gorgeous grin against his back, but Gorgeous doesn’t say anything else, just presses a little kiss into his hair. Freemind exhales, and lets himself fall asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> this was supposed to be funny haha gorgeous freeman sex joke and it somehow turned into 7k words of like, emotions and shit bc i have zero self control
> 
> anyway thanks 4 reading, please leave a comment if u like it! it means a lot!
> 
> u can req my 18+ twitter [here](https://twitter.com/nocaulk) if u wanna


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